Description: BLACKBEARD: Girl boss

Description: BLACKBEARD: Horny for a guy who looks like a dying ET.

Description: BLACKBEARD: When you question me I take psychic damage.

Description: BLACKBEARD: How many times do I have to explain this shit?

Description: BLACKBEARD: I could only afford one sleeve

Description: BLACKBEARD: In this house everything reminds us of wieners, even clouds.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Sigh no one wants to work anymore.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Introductions are hard.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Oh youse a big boi huh

Description: BLACKBEARD: The bird tell you that?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Insert joke at the expense of my tiny wife.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Shut the fuck up I stg.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Well then, guess I'll die.

Description: BLACKBEARD: You wanna say that again, m8?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Who spilled a jar of mayonnaise on the bed? Oh wait that's not a condiment, that's just Stede Bonnet.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Wet and pathetic man-tits are the best.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Oh hey I didn't see you there.

Description: BLACKBEARD: You don't fucking recognize me?

Description: BLACKBEARD: You ever have someone read you to filth so hard it makes you question everything?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Cool guys don't look back when they're walking away.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Oh you didn't want to hear about my trauma, anyway.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Do you mind? I need to dissociate for a minute thanks.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Say sike right now.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Didn't you hear? I'm notoriously insane.

Description: BLACKBEARD: It's so cute when men are scared of you.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Can't believe I've met someone weirder than me.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Hit him with the 'need me a sugar daddy' eyes.

Description: BLACKBEARD: The aristocrats.

Description: BLACKBEARD: You ever get fucking sick of it all?

Description: BLACKBEARD: When you realize all of your problems are your own fault.

Description: BLACKBEARD: The fuck is that?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Smiling at the cute walking corpse in the corner.

Description: STEDE BONNET: I'm actually Stede now do you mind?

Description: STEDE BONNET: Please clap.

Description: STEDE BONNET: Where do you wanna put those?

Description: STEDE BONNET: Who the fuck invited this guy?

Description: STEDE BONNET: Yeah thanks for undermining my point, bro

Description: STEDE BONNET: What if I sat atop a piano like this while you played it badly?

Description: STEDE BONNET: Showing off for the cute bois.

Description: STEDE BONNET: Dickfuck no it's not.

Description: STEDE BONNET: Oh I like FUCKED UP fucked up, huh?

Description: STEDE BONNET: Hah well guess I can't be trusted lol

Description: STEDE BONNET: If we die, we die pissed.

Description: STEDE BONNET: Eat my ass, Spanish Navy.

Description: STEDE BONNET: When you find a guy so charming you immediately scheme to murder him.

Description: STEDE BONNET: You planning on staying up there all day or?

Description: STEDE BONNET: You're thinking too small, m8

Description: STEDE BONNET: Post-murder-plot-ennui

Description: BLACKBEARD: Around these parts we call stabbing knives into eyeballs 'hot girl shit'

Description: BLACKBEARD: Nothing turns a guy on more than acts of violence.

Description: BLACKBEARD: When bae shows you his hyperfixation.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Did you hear what that guy called me just now?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Gay panic activated.

Description: BLACKBEARD: It's not like I LIKE you or anything.

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: Well I literally ate a man, so.

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: They're a fickle fucking crowd.

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: Daddy told me no.

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: Bae set fire to an entire ship for me and that's the hottest shit I've ever seen.

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: Are you about to propose, bro?

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: Since when do pretty boys just compliment me?

Description: JEFF THE ACCOUNTANT: We're not usually allowed nice things in this house.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Don't cross the streams.

Description: BLACKBEARD: If I can make it horny I will.

Description: BLACKBEARD: I'm trying to get impaled tonight.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Do you think I'm fucking playing?

Description: BLACKBEARD: I fucking dare u bro

Description: BLACKBEARD: Slid into me like butter, damn.

Description: BLACKBEARD: glaring but make it sexual

Description: BLACKBEARD: I like to maintain eye contact while your sword is inside of me uwu

Description: BLACKBEARD: Live, laugh, losing blood by the second

Description: BLACKBEARD: Coming soon.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Aftercare with bae.

Description: BLACKBEARD: I can't believe I'm telling this bullshit story again.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Welp time to traumadump lol

Description: BLACKBEARD: Sometimes you say the dumbest shit I stg

Description: BLACKBEARD: You sure about that's not why?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Edgelord shit

Description: BLACKBEARD: You made me look like a fucking idiot, pal.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Not fucking optimal, my dude.

Description: BLACKBEARD: It can't always be marital bliss.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Pause here for dramatic effect.

Description: BLACKBEARD: You'd never know it from this pic but I'm baby.

Description: BLACKBEARD: You brought that on yourself pal

Description: BLACKBEARD: Watching two men fight over me is the hottest shit I've ever done.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Bro did you know you can fight without giving a monologue first.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Damn he really Did That.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Someone told me pouting made me look hot

Description: BLACKBEARD: I'm a fuckin' killer bro.

Description: BLACKBEARD: This is my safe place

Description: BLACKBEARD: I just told you my trauma am I still hot?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Did you only put six sugars in this, bro?

Description: BLACKBEARD: lol bro if I had a chip on my shoulder a bird would eat it.

Description: BLACKBEARD: If they see me here I'll get made fun of at school.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Fuck a bug.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Only winners get snake dinner.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Got a bit of snake in my beard.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Hm good point, I am the most special boy in the world

Description: BLACKBEARD: Hear me out...

Description: BLACKBEARD: Bae's hat stays on for sex.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Did you forget who you're talking to?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Sounds sus af m8

Description: BLACKBEARD: Who, him??

Description: BLACKBEARD: Oh no that was fucking delightful.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Ok bae is p. cute tho.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Don't you dare forget who's babygirl in these here parts.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Bae's having one of his fits again.

Description: BLACKBEARD: I earned this.

Description: BLACKBEARD: That was kinda suggestive, bud.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Unless??

Description: BLACKBEARD: Cheers, bae.

Description: BLACKBEARD: getting rowdy with my ex

Description: BLACKBEARD: me n my ex up to no good

Description: BLACKBEARD: World's most specialest boy.

Description: BLACKBEARD: Just a lil beach sneep snop

Description: BLACKBEARD: Well, well, well. Look who has sand in his beard.

Description: BLACKBEARD: teeheeing with my ex

Description: BLACKBEARD: are you trying to make me sound like shit or

Description: BLACKBEARD: oh shit not the whippies

Description: BLACKBEARD: do it bitch

Description: BLACKBEARD: I've got 50 dubloons on that turtle eating shit

Description: BLACKBEARD: Winner winner turtle soup 4 dinner

Description: BLACKBEARD: nice coconuts

Description: BLACKBEARD: The beach sit of shame.

Description: BLACKBEARD: dude come the fuck on.

Description: BLACKBEARD: I am just a silly guy don't I deserve a lil treat?

Description: BLACKBEARD: Fuckboi emo cold shoulder.

Description: BLACKBEARD: i did it all for love or some shit

Description: BLACKBEARD: yeah that sounds about right

Description: BLACKBEARD: god you are so fucking boring

Description: BLACKBEARD: leave britney alone

Description: BLACKBEARD: he protecc

Description: BLACKBEARD: please spare my bf's tits

Description: BLACKBEARD: you may kiss the bride

Description: BLACKBEARD: if you hurt him i stg

Description: BLACKBEARD: lmao what

Description: BLACKBEARD: How about you eat my shit and hair.

Description: BLACKBEARD: I know how to fucking read, asshole.

Description: EDWARD: I may have made an error in judgement here.

Description: EDWARD: I can fit about this much of that bad boy in here.

Description: EDWARD: Watching the sun set with bae.

Description: EDWARD: im just fuckin tired ok

Description: EDWARD: Side eye at bae and his silly little ideas.

Description: EDWARD: Yeah I mean, things could definitely be worse.

Description: EDWARD: remember all the fun times we had

Description: EDWARD: oh actually that was fucked up of me

Description: EDWARD: does pouting still work for me without the beard?

Description: EDWARD: Fuck queerbaiting, we out here smoochin.

Description: EDWARD: i never wanted to be one of those matching outfits couples

Description: EDWARD: and we'll stay together forever right? ....right??

Description: EDWARD: honestly i'm just excited by the prospects here

Description: EDWARD: shut the fuck up (enthusiastic)

Description: EDWARD: wanna do something naughty later?

Description: EDWARD: Hanging on in the blanket fort.

Description: EDWARD: Nonplussed in the blanket fort

Description: EDWARD: Comfort treats in the blanket fort

Description: EDWARD: Facing the void in the blanket fort

Description: EDWARD: Dissociating in the blanket fort.

Description: EDWARD: Fire hazard in the blanket fort.

Description: EDWARD: Emotional breakdown in the blanket fort

Description: EDWARD: Grief consumes me in the blanket fort

Description: EDWARD: surely autotune will save this

Description: EDWARD: i did my best and look where it got us

Description: EDWARD: did that sound bad be honest

Description: EDWARD: It's giving gender euphoria

Description: EDWARD: what does that even mean

Description: EDWARD: oh my fucking fuck

Description: EDWARD: We love a domestic moment.

Description: EDWARD: still got it

Description: EDWARD: wow that was uhhh the most hurtful shit anyone's ever said to me

Description: EDWARD: Sometimes u gotta homoerotically pin ur lil guy to the wall.

Description: EDWARD: you just can't hire good help these days.

Description: EDWARD:my short king likes to get choked sometimes

Description: EDWARD: When u and ur bf are both bottoms.

Description: EDWARD: how's everybody doing? i'll go first, I'm bad.

Description: EDWARD: Watch your shoes, boy.

Description: EDWARD: not me laughing before i even get to the punchline

Description: EDWARD: Rebirth

Description: THE KRAKEN: sometimes u gotta feed ur bf a lil midnight snacc

Description: THE KRAKEN: say thanks daddy

Description: THE KRAKEN: Moody shadowed villain lewks

Description: THE KRAKEN: this is the signal I was talking about earlier.

Description: THE KRAKEN: I'm not amused by things anymore like... in general.

Description: THE KRAKEN: ew what.

Description: THE KRAKEN: In case you needed some motivation.

Description: THE KRAKEN: He's like the joker for gay ppl

Description: THE KRAKEN: Eat ur heart out, Davey Havok

Description: THE KRAKEN: u think the new flag is overkill or?

Description: THE KRAKEN: It's giving myspace angles

Description: THE KRAKEN: Breakup era alcoholism

Description: THE KRAKEN: Note to self- Waterproof mascara

Description: THE KRAKEN: Subtle smokey eye look.

Description: THE KRAKEN: A blushing bride.

Description: THE KRAKEN: That's my mans.

Description: THE KRAKEN: Just the tip.

Description: THE KRAKEN: Be the vampire-viking-clown you want to see in the world.

Description: THE KRAKEN: Blaze it

Description: THE KRAKEN: Sniffing my reflection

Description: THE KRAKEN: Heard wtf u said

Description: THE KRAKEN: welp

Description: THE KRAKEN: Mockingspongebob.jpg

Description: THE KRAKEN: Did you know I'm mentally unstable?

Description: THE KRAKEN: wdym toxic? like the song?

Description: THE KRAKEN: if you don't mind, I've got a lot more vibes to kill

Description: THE KRAKEN: Heartbreak prevails.

Description: THE KRAKEN: 3 pints of ben and jerrys later...

Description: THE KRAKEN: pagliacci walks into a doctors office

Description: THE KRAKEN: Don't disappoint me u little shit.

Description: THE KRAKEN: Oh no oh dear what a surprise.

Description: THE KRAKEN: don't you know I'm clinically insane?

Description: THE KRAKEN: this is what sympathy looks like, right?

Description: THE KRAKEN: just one question actually

Description: THE KRAKEN: if not babygirl why do i wear my hair in slutstrands

Description: THE KRAKEN: Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Description: THE KRAKEN: That's Captain Babygirl to you.

Description: THE KRAKEN: Heaven on their minds.

Description: THE KRAKEN: closure? i don't know her.

Description: HE KRAKEN: a rotten leg's gotta come off.

Description: THE KRAKEN: sexy squeezing out a fart face idk

Description: THE KRAKEN: middle school picture day

Description: THE KRAKEN: Scream until you're coughing up blood.

Description: THE KRAKEN: singing in the rain

Description: THE KRAKEN: unhinged delight

Description: THE KRAKEN: no rest for the wicked

Description: EDDIE: you didn't do anything weird while i was out did you?

Description: JEFF: welcome to my inn by the sea

Description: JEFF: I'm being polite and you're being a dick

Description: EDDIE: I'll snap your fucking neck

Description: EDDIE: got wood

Description: EDDIE: We're in Donkey Kong Country now.

Description: EDDIE: flames on the sides of my face

Description: EDDIE: orgasms are the only reason for living

Description: EDDIE: fucked that one up didn't i

Description: EDDIE: i love my mermaid boyfriend

Description: EDDIE: dorothy wakes from her dream

Description: EDDIE: strategically placed bicep

Description: EDDIE: girl can someone invent breath mints already

Description: EDDIE: you're no fucking mermaid

Description: EDDIE: ever see one of these bad boys?

Description: EDDIE: there are two wolves inside of you and ones a rabbit

Description: EDDIE: this is a new low even for me.

Description: EDDIE: this is why we can't have nice things

Description: EDDIE: the literacy gang

Description: EDDIE: GIRLS NIGHT!!!

Description: EDDIE: speak of the devil and he shall appear

Description: EDDIE: nuh uh

Description: EDDIE: girl ew

Description: EDDIE: m8 i am too high for this shit.

Description: EDDIE: I only smoke girl blunts

Description: EDDIE: proper fucking manners

Description: EDDIE: ya blew it, bro

Description: EDDIE: hot girls dont cry

Description: EDDIE: kiss me right now i dare you

Description: EDDIE: we aiight

Description: EDDIE: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Description: EDDIE: baby cow eyes.

Description: EDDIE: all it takes is the weirdest guy you know to spoil a nice moment

Description: EDDIE: say sike right now

Description: EDDIE: i believe in magic

Description: EDDIE: so like, nya~

Description: EDDIE: im just a lil guy

Description: EDDIE: it's so hot when a guy talks sternly to you

Description: EDDIE: whatever u say handsome

Description: EDDIE: oopsie

Description: EDDIE: i definitely never said that

Description: EDDIE: i can be chill, watch.

Description: EDDIE: don't cut the story short on my account

Description: EDDIE: bedroom eyes 2 electric boogaloo

Description: EDDIE: sure whatever i can be chill about this

Description: EDDIE: character growth is knowing when to take things slow

Description: EDDIE: i said slow: wink wink

Description: EDDIE: and they said romance is dead

Description: EDDIE: storm's a-comin'

Description: EDDIE: did I do that?

Description: EDDIE: lets get lit

Description: EDDIE: bisexual lighting realness

Description: EDDIE: god you're so fucking boring

Description: EDDIE: are we doing this right now?

Description: EDDIE: can you make this tighter pls

Description: EDDIE: sorry i only hang out with cool pirates

Description: EDDIE: oh no mister pirate please don't torture me.

Description: EDDIE: i find this very relaxing actually

Description: EDDIE: proud of my boo

Description: EDDIE: ok maybe disappointed in my boo

Description: EDDIE: holy shit holy fucking shit

Description: EDDIE: slow my ass

Description: EDDIE: morning glow

Description: EDDIE: chomp

Description: EDDIE: m8 ur fuckin jealous

Description: EDDIE: ok thanks byeeee

Description: EDDIE: and it begins

Description: EDDIE: if you know what i mean...

Description: EDDIE: grace? she passed away 30 years ago.

Description: EDDIE: told you i could fucking read, you dick.

Description: EDDIE: this shit is so romantic wtf

Description: EDDIE: can't believe this prick han solo'd me after this

Description: EDDIE: unbridled joy

Description: EDDIE: not the sexy little hat sneer oh no

Description: EDDIE: subtle hint u can propose to me next, bro.